Does this darkness have a name?

Does this darkness have a name?
This cruelty?
This hatred?
How did it find us?
Did it steal into our lives or did we seek it out and embrace it?
What happened to us?
That we now send our children into the world like we send young men to war, hoping for their safe return, but knowing that some will be lost along the way. When did we lose our way?
Consumed by the shadows, swallowed all by the darkness.
Does this darkness have a name?
Is it your name?

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It’s not the end

I want you to close your eyes please
I wanna ask you
How are you?
What heaviness are you carrying?
What tears do you hold back?
What pain
What fears
Are kept inside?
You don’t have to hold on to those fears
If you just take one step at a time
Not to say that one day these fears are just gonna completely disappear

Can you forgive those you have hurt you?
Because that’s where healing starts
Every time someone puts you down
Will you make a decision to bring somebody else up?
Go to an open area
Where there’s no building and there’s no shelter
And there’s a storm above you
This storm represents the situations in your life when you don’t tell anybody what you’re going through Because first of all they wouldn’t understand
And second of all they can’t even help you anyway
There’s this storm and you’re down on your knees and you’re cold and you’re weak
And you feel like this is the end
Are you not still here?
You are still here
You don’t have to do this alone

Do you wanna spend the rest of your life being afraid of people rejecting you?
You have to start by not rejecting yourself
You don’t deserve it
People either accept you or they can fuck off
When you’re in school
When you grow up in life
It actually sort of matters to people how you look
It matters to you because it matters to others
Why?
Why does it matter how you look?
Because if they don’t like you, then who will?
If they don’t accept you, then who will?
And the fear that we have that we’re going to be alone
That we’re not good enough
And we have to change ourselves
And I had to because otherwise people put me down
I started believing that I was not good enough
I started believing that I was a failure
That I would never ever be somebody who people would like
Who people would accept

I was depressed
I thought: what kind of purpose do I have to live?
Are you just here to live, to die?
Is there not a purpose for me?
Is there not a purpose in life?
There are some things in life that are out of your control
That you can’t change and you gotta live with
The choice that we have is either to give up or keep on going
I wanna ask you
What are you gonna believe?
Are you gonna believe in yourself or are you gonna believe everybody else ‘s judgment?
Are you gonna believe people when they say that you’re a failure?
That no one really likes you
That no one cares about you
I wanna tell you that sometimes in life when you fall down and you feel like you don’t have the strength to get back up, you need to try again
Because if I fail
I’ll try again
And again
And again
And again
For as long as I try there is always that chance of getting up
And it’s not the end until you’ve given up
And just the fact that you’re here should persuade you that you have another chance to get back up
Because
There’s still hope
There’s always hope
It’s not the end

Skyscraper

– foreword: I don’t like music by Demi Lovato or any other pop artist because I’m goth and prefer artists like London After Midnight, but these lyrics mean a lot to me. While reading them, you may understand why. – 

Skies are crying, I am watching

Catching teardrops in my hands
Only silence, as it’s ending
Like we never had a chance
Do you have to make me feel like
There’s nothing left of me?
You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I’m made of glass
Like I’m made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground 
Like a skyscraper
As the smoke clears
I awaken and untangle you from me
Would it make you feel better
To watch me while I bleed?
All my windows sill are broken
But I’m standing on my feet
You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I’m made of glass
Like I’m made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground 
Like a skyscraper
Go run, run, run
I’m gonna stay right here
Watch you disappear 
Go run, run, run
It’s a long way down
But I’m closer to the clouds up here
You can take everything I have
You can break everything I am
Like I’m made of glass
Like I’m made of paper
Go on and try to tear me down
I will be rising from the ground 
Like a skyscraper
Like a skyscraper

Drowning

What doesn’t kill you makes you wish you were dead
Got a hole in my soul, growing deeper and deeper
And I can’t take one more moment of this silence
The loneliness is haunting me
And the weight of the world’s getting harder to hold up

It comes in waves, I close my eyes
Hold my breath and let it bury me
I’m not okay, and it’s not alright
Won’t you drag the lake and bring me home again?

Who will fix me now? Dive in when I’m down?
Save me from myself, don’t let me drown
Who will make me fight? Drag me out alive?
Save me from myself, don’t let me drown

black and white, rain, and ocean image

What doesn’t destroy you, leaves you broken instead
Got a hole in my soul growing deeper and deeper
And I can’t take one more moment of this silence
The loneliness is haunting me
And the weight of the world’s getting harder to hold up

It comes in waves, I close my eyes
Hold my breath and let it bury me
I’m not okay, and it’s not alright
Won’t you drag the lake and bring me home again?

‘Cause you know that I can’t do this on my own
Who will fix me now? Dive in when I’m down?
Save me from myself, don’t let me drown…

Hey dad

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I’m writing to you
Not to tell you that I still hate you
Just to ask you how you feel
And how we fell apart
How this fell apart

Are you happy out there in this great big world?
Do you think about your kids?
Do you miss your little girl?
When you lay your head down
How do you sleep at night?
Do you even wonder if we’re alright?
We’re alright

It’s been a long hard road without you by my side
Why weren’t you there all the nights that we cried?
You broke my mother’s heart
You broke your children for life
It’s not okay, but we’re alright
I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes
But those are just a long lost memory of mine
I spent so many years learning how to survive
Now I’m writing just to let you know
I’m still alive

The days I spent so cold, so hungry
Were full of hate, I was so angry
The scars run deep inside this tattooed body
These things I’ll take to my grave
But I’ll be okay
I’ll be okay

It’s been a long hard road without you by my side
Why weren’t you there all the nights that we cried?
You broke my mother’s heart
You broke your children for life
It’s not okay, but we’re alright
I remember the days you were a hero in my eyes
But those are just a long lost memory of mine
I spent so many years learning how to survive
Now I’m writing just to let you know
I’m still alive

~ original version by Good Charlotte