Places of remembrance 

I drove through the town where I used to live for five years until I attempted suicide (twice) today. I wanted to close my eyes as we passed, but I couldn’t. I felt… Dazzled. But not in a positive way. More in a paralyzed way.
My voice would have been husky if I would have been able to talk and I was trembling so hard when I saw all those familiar places where all the terrible things happened. When we drove through the woods where I had tried to kill myself for the first time, I felt like I recognized every single spot though it was already dusk.
This is where I wanted to die, I thought. Where I almost died.
My eyes got wet, but gladly I didn’t cry (I was not alone in the car).
You know, the feelings I got are ridiculous. It’s been three years since then and I actually got over it. I’m not even suicidal anymore, not in almost half a year.
So why did it hurt so bad?
The memories don’t hurt at all anymore. I can’t even talk about what happened without blinking. But the places? Hurts like hell.
Where’s the problem with them?
I’m still shocked by all those images that popped up.

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